And now for a novel...

Well, my baby is a toddler! He is 1 years old! WOOHOOO! I can not believe it has been a year already! So much has changed this year. I guess that is the way it is with babies. As soon as we had him figured out he would move onto a new phase. I have heard that this slows down a bit now and we can finally settle down and enjoy the world of toddlers. Ok maybe "enjoy" is the wrong word. We can survive the world of toddlers :-)
Last night as I was going to bed I was remembering the same night a year ago. Jon came back to my hospital room after being with Parker at the Children's Hospital for a few hours. He came into the room, I was sleeping, but he kissed my head and told me he had never been so proud of me in all the years he had known me. He slept on the couch and we talked over the whole day. It was an amazing amazing day.

We had gone to bed on the 28th after watching two movies. We had stayed up late and had a little party because my parents were coming to Chicago the next day and we knew that the next morning was our last day to sleep in for a long time. We turned off the tv around 1:30. I woke up around 3, 3:30, 4:00 and could not figure out why I was waking up. Around 4:15 it dawned on me that I was having contractions that were waking me up! I told Jon and he told me to go back to sleep and they would go away. He was not being insensitive. I had woken him up every morning for the last two weeks saying the same thing to him! Around 6 that morning they were actually painful and I woke him up again and he told me to take a shower and see how they were. I did, and could not stand up strait in the shower! I messed around online for a bit ate breakfast. Around 9 Jon was convinced that it was show time and we headed the hospital. We checked in and they told me that I had labored to 4 centimeters! We were SO excited!
Labor was awesome for me! Once we got up to our room they told me if I wanted an epidural that I needed to get on the list knowing there would be a wait. I told them that I was fine, but I would make sure to get on the list when things got intense. About 15 minutes later, Jon was in the bathroom and I nearly stopped breathing from the pain. "This could get very bad!" I thought and called for the epidural man! A few minutes later my new best friend was in the room. They asked Jon to leave and I remmeber being really scared. The nurse held me - or rather I held her and within 20 minutes the pain was gone! When Jon came back in we watched some tv, he scratched my itchy back and we had a fine time. Around 5 Dr. Patel came in and asked if I was ready. What a silly question! TONS of doctors and med students came into the room. Parker's heart defect is rare and it was a "medical treat" for the students to see the action unfold. So I pushed in all the glory of a birthing woman with 30 people cheering me on. I tuned everyone but Jon's voice out.
When Parker was born he squealed! It was not a cry. I think Jon was afraid I had given birth to some dinosaur species. I did not get to hold him. Dr. Patel handed him over to the teams of doctors in the corners and they crowded around him to work. Everyone in awhile someone would move and I would catch a glimpse of his little squished up face. The light was really bright in his eyes and he did not open them. He did not cry though.
They did not get the IV started so they took him to the NICU to get a line in his belly button and promised that I could go down in an hour or so to see him. I cried when he left. A ouple of nurses came in to tell me that he as beautiful and to make sure that I was doing ok. My parents arrived literally 30 minutes after he was born. It is a surreal moment to see your mom and dad when you've just had a baby! The pride is indescribable. It's like you want to say "See, your love and hard work have paid off! I, have created life!! Come and see MY child!!"

We made small talk for the hour that we waited. At 7:00, exactly one hour after they had taken him instincts took over and I NEEDED to see him. I sent Jon and my dad hunting for Parker. They came back and told me we could head down to the NICU. AS we were walking in, well, I was being wheeled in, it occured to me that I had only actually seen Parker for a minute or two and I panicked that I might not recognize him. I envisioned the nurses waiting for me to say "ok, this is my child, this is where we stop" and I had no idea if I would be able to recognize him from the others. As it turned out, I could never forget his face. I knew exactly which one was his. It was either Mother's Instinct, or the fact that the other babies in the NICU were 2-4 lb premies and Parker was 7 lbs! He looked like a giant. He looked like he was the heathiest baby in the room. I stood up on legs that I could not feel and held onto the side of his bed to support myself. He did not open his little eyes, he was not crying, he was not really squirming much. He made this sweet little whinning sound. He must have been terrified, but he did not act like it. The nurse told me to push his legs up to his stomach and hold his arms down because he was used to be squished up. I tried, but I really just wanted to touch his face, so I did when she wasn't looking. After awhile, the room started to get fuzzy and I blacked out. It was such a hard decision because I was not ready to go back to room and say goodbye, but I did not want to faint and take attention off of Parker. Luckily, my nurse saw tha I was pale and she made me go back upstairs to bed. I said goodbye and left Parker and Jon in the NICU.

My mom and dad and Jon went to Children's with Parker. I had taken some pain medicine and was tired so I tried to sleep. I was in and out of sleep until Jon came back around 1:30 that morning.

If someone had told me a year and nine months ago that my birth story would be so different than what I expected I would have been crushed. Women who have had healthy children and who were able to hold their babies right away and who had the choice to sleep with their baby in the room or send them to the nursery always say they feel bad for me. I don't feel bad for me. It was an amazing day. The best day of my life. It was the start of a million firsts.

The next evening would be the first time I would hold him. We would spend two days in the NICU at Children's holding him and loving on him. On the third morning I held him while my family stood around him and said a prayer before we walked down to the surgical holding room and watched them wheel him away to surgery. That afternoon when they told me that he was ok, that he was going to live, I cried with a relief so overwhelming that I thought it would literally take me over. Then a few hours later we saw him and I felt like I was five years old again. I had no idea what to do. The relief that I had been feeling disolved instantly and turned into saddness, fear, and a powerful need to change places with him. We coped though. I learned how to change his diapers while his body was all tied up with wires and tubes. I gave him a bath, held him, fed him, and we made it work. Then we went home and the real fun started. Our life started.

I know this has been a novel and if anyone is still reading this far down the page, I am so emotional today because 20 years ago, he would not be here. If he had been born just 20 years ago, I would have a very sad story to tell. It is a MIRACLE that he is here and healthy and happy. I would do it over a million times. He and Jon make my life great. Happy birthday to Parker!!!

Parker's Birthday Stuff

Ok first things first! Just call me Mrs. Cleaver!!! Check out the cake that I, Emily Hebda, made for my son!!! Ok, Jon helped and credit is due where it is due! We are a great team! Good lookin' babies and good lookin' cakes!





Second things second! I have found a way around all of the sappy writing to express to everyone how much I love Parker and how proud I am of his accomplishments this year! Jon and I have been working on a video for his birthday for a couple of months now and while it is long (you may need a snack or something...and kleenex..don't forget kleenex) it is set to fantastic music for your listening pleasure! Enjoy!!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Baby Do's and Don'ts

Sometimes parenting is not as common sense as you would imagine! Sometimes, as a parent, you are faced with many difficult decisions. I think this website truly addresses the concerns of modern parents and it thoroughly and artistically provides excellent pictures that will help any parent in those times when you are just not sure what to do! Enjoy!


http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/

Parker Jay

Parker's birthday is coming up and I am feeling so emotional about it!! It is so silly! I truly cried myself to sleep the other night thinking about this past year and how far we have all come. I have tried several times to put into words how I am feeling and I just can't do it. It seems sappy and I just end up erasing it all. It's just, he started out as this little creature that I didn't know anything about. I had control over nothing. I knew nothing. And now, a year later, well, I still have control over nothing, but he is his own little person now. And we just kind of mesh. I remember that night in the hospital feeling like we were this little twosome team unit, a pair - we had forever to figure each other out. The whole thing just blows me away. Here I go being sappy again - and yes I am crying. I'll stop. But don't think you're off the hook you loyal readers! His birthday is Tuesday and there will be more sap to come! Of this I am sure!

When Mom's away the boys will play...

And consequently trash the place!!

Parker's Article

There is a man in Chicago who has been working for years to get the American Heart Association to do a campaign for congenital heart defects. He wants commercials, pamphlets, anything to draw attention! The AHA has told him that they will do the campaign if he gets one million dollars to fund it. On February 2, at a museum here in Chicago they are having a benefit to raise money for his cause. We have been asked to help! On each table at the benefit they are going to put a picture and a story of a child affected by a CHD. I have been asked to submit one featuring Parker! I am copying his article and posting his picture here. I hope that the people who read it will be moved by his story to help out! Just an example of how research could help kids and Parker in particular: there is a doctor in Memphis who has just figured out how to do a VALVE REPLACEMENT in the CATH LAB!! No open heart surgery! Imagine if by the time Parker needs surgery again doctors everywhere are repairing valves in the lab! I am really praying for this benefit and for this campaign. A little research can affect SOO many children's lives! Here is Parker's article:




I will never forget the day we found out about our son’s heart defect. I was twenty two weeks pregnant with our son that we had just named Parker and my husband and I were at the doctor’s office for an ultrasound. Two weeks before the tech was unable to see all of the angles of his heart and we were asked to return to “try again”. That was our purpose for being there that day. My husband, Jon, and I were joking about the waste of time and money of this formality. We had heard his heartbeat several times and it was always described as “perfect”. It had not dawned on either of us that there could be a problem. As the tech worked, her face wrinkled up in frustration and she told us she wanted to get the doctor. They spoke to each other over my head in a whisper, maybe they thought if they spoke quietly enough that I would not hear what they were saying. “There is a big hole” “Where is his aorta?” There was suddenly not enough air to keep breathing. There are no words to describe the panic and desperation I felt as I learned my son was not healthy. There was a big problem.
We left an hour later with a picture of Parker’s heart defect. He was diagnosed with Transposition of the Great Arteries and a Ventricular Septal Defect. His pulmonary artery and aorta were switched, his pulmonary artery which should be connected to the right side of his heart, was connected to the left and the aorta which should be connected to the left side of his heart was connected to the right. He had two separate circuits, one that circulated oxygenated blood from his lungs to his heart and back to his lungs, and another that circulated unoxygenated blood to his body to his heart and back out to the body – still without oxygen. His body would not have enough oxygen to live. He also had a hole in the middle of his heart. He would die within days without immediate surgery. As we sat in the conference room with the cardiologist, about to be crushed with fear, sadness, and the confusion of it all, she looked at us and said “this is fixable”. We took a deep breath and smiled.
We spent the next twenty weeks researching anatomy, heart defects, and surgeries. We learned about all of the breakthroughs in cardiac surgery and on January 29, 2007 when we handed him over to the doctors at Children’s Memorial Hospital, we felt confident that he would be ok.
Parker had the Arterial Switch Operation and VSD repair when he was three days old. It was the worst and best day of our lives. Nothing in the world can prepare you to see your child after open heart surgery. It was the saddest, most helpless moment that I can remember. But, the relief, and that is not a strong enough word, of hearing that the surgery was successful, was absolutely overwhelming. No words have ever been sweeter to my ears. With tears streaming down my face, I thanked the man who saved my sons life, knowing how inadequate the words were.
Now, one year later, we have a healthy, busy, precious boy. Aside from the scar down his chest to mark what he has gone through, no one would ever know of the fight he put up in his first few days of life. He is left now with a narrow pulmonary valve that will eventually need another surgery. We have learned from our own experience and the experience of others that our world will continue to revolve around Parker’s heart forever. We are prepared to continue seeking out excellent doctors who are working to perform new surgeries for these kids. While not a day goes by that I do not worry about his heart, I enjoy the place where we are now and I count every one of his accomplishments as nothing short of a miracle. Despite his bad heart, he is, after all, perfect and I could not be any more proud of him.

Our First Christmas

Remember Christmas when you were little? Remember knowing exactly what you want and waiting and waiting for Christmas morning hoping - just hoping that Santa would have brought it? Then on Christmas morning walking out and there it was! What a great feeling! Few things top Christmas morning to a child. I have found one though -

Christmas morning as a mom! It was so much fun to watch Parker on Christmas morning. Sure he liked the paper and ribbon more than what was inside. Sure he prefers his new Spider Man tooth brush and Dollar Spot hand broom to his fancy Dance and Sing Stage and Leap Frog Lap Top. But the point is - there is nothing more fun in the world to me than watching Parker have a good time. I wish I could have made it last forever. But at 9:00 that morning he had "had enough Christmas" and was hurling Cheerios all over the floor, attacking the dog, arching his back, screeching, spitting and other charming antics he has picked up.