I read a few message boards on this website called BabyCenter.com. There is one message board for babies born in January 2007 and the other is Heart Babies. I find all kinds of information about normal baby development for Parker's "normal" side on the January '07 babies and I get to vent, ask questions, and find strength on the Heart Babes board. I have come to a realization though. Today I was spending some time on the Jan. board and I can't tell you how many women complain, whine, and bring up every negative thing about their baby. There was a thread called "what anti depressant are you on?". Several of them have gotten divorced since January. Several of them wish they did not have a baby. They bicker, argue and criticize each other in all kinds of rude ways. It is just awful.
The mom's of heart babies though - these women are unbelievable. Some of these women have children who have had 3 or more open heart surgeries, their babies have all kinds of mental delays, they have been in hospitals for months on end. For them a cold could be fatal, every cardiology apt has the potential to change their life, every year their child get older comes with more and more risks. These women are amazing. Tonight one woman posted "BIG MILESTONE" and she was bragging in tears because when she asked her 11 month old son (who just recovered from his second open heart surgery this year) to give her a kiss he planted a big wet one right on her lips! These moms don't complain about their baby who doesn't sleep through the night - at least they are together at home! They don't complain about dirty diapers - at least their childs systems are working! They don't complain about the cost of formula or clothes - what in the world could more important to spend your money on! Every day - every mundane, boring, dirty and exhausting activity is cherished like it might not be there tomorrow. Can you imagine how hard it must be to love someone that might be taken away from you? They are so strong.
No matter how well Parker does throughout his life and how far away I get from the "heart world" - I will always remember these women. The ones who have lost their babies. The ones who are still facing multiple surgeries. The ones who are lucky like me and will watch our babies turn 1 and 21 and 31!
I guess the point of this note is to say that when someone is told they might not be able to keep their baby - and they do - the world is never the same. All of a sudden - they have all they need. I have all I need.