"Alright I'm up I'm up" Every morning I give in to the little voice pleading for someone to get out of bed and come entertain him. No matter how tired I am or how much I just want to roll over and ignore the call, by the time I make my way over to his crib and see his huge smile when he realize he has won, it is worth it.
This morning I was thinking about our last night in the hospital. Jon had gone back home already and Parker and I had FINALLY been moved to the 5th Floor (the step down floor...the "before you go home" floor). It was amazing. Parker had one lone IV still and was so easy to move. There was not a nurse standing 5 feet away watching me. I was actually responsible for my son for the first time. My bed was right next to his. I could reach my hand up and touch him. I remember bringing him out of his bed and letting him lay in my lap while I watched You've Got Mail and checked my email. Nothing had ever been this casual before.
In the other rooms in order to pick him up I had to sit in the strait back chair (not comfortable) with a pillow on my lap to help support his cords and tubes and I almost always had to have some kind of help getting him to me and putting him down. If I did it alone, the nurse would watch suspiciously making sure I wasn't going to hurt him. Everything was out of my control. They came in and woke him up, told me when to feed him, I could HELP bathe him, HELP change his diaper, HELP give his medicine...but all along I could not wait until he was really mine to take care of. I was so ready.
That last night was truly amazing. I fell in love that night and I think Parker did too. I think it was the first time that I was different than one of his nurses. We sat for hours cuddling and staring at each other until we just fell asleep. I remember thinking how incredibly perfect he was (a feeling I did not think I would have when I found out about his heart). I remember thinking that we were this little twosome who would always be together....you know, until he's 10 and doesn't want to hug me anymore :-) It was wonderful. We've spent every night together since :-)
This morning I was thinking about our last night in the hospital. Jon had gone back home already and Parker and I had FINALLY been moved to the 5th Floor (the step down floor...the "before you go home" floor). It was amazing. Parker had one lone IV still and was so easy to move. There was not a nurse standing 5 feet away watching me. I was actually responsible for my son for the first time. My bed was right next to his. I could reach my hand up and touch him. I remember bringing him out of his bed and letting him lay in my lap while I watched You've Got Mail and checked my email. Nothing had ever been this casual before.
In the other rooms in order to pick him up I had to sit in the strait back chair (not comfortable) with a pillow on my lap to help support his cords and tubes and I almost always had to have some kind of help getting him to me and putting him down. If I did it alone, the nurse would watch suspiciously making sure I wasn't going to hurt him. Everything was out of my control. They came in and woke him up, told me when to feed him, I could HELP bathe him, HELP change his diaper, HELP give his medicine...but all along I could not wait until he was really mine to take care of. I was so ready.
That last night was truly amazing. I fell in love that night and I think Parker did too. I think it was the first time that I was different than one of his nurses. We sat for hours cuddling and staring at each other until we just fell asleep. I remember thinking how incredibly perfect he was (a feeling I did not think I would have when I found out about his heart). I remember thinking that we were this little twosome who would always be together....you know, until he's 10 and doesn't want to hug me anymore :-) It was wonderful. We've spent every night together since :-)
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